Once one of my colleagues (Siddhant Baral) came up with the question on evolution of Love. I don't know what made him question that but being a student of biological science, it intrigued me. I tried answering it, but it turns out I also lack a proper understanding of the topic itself. My insecurity about the topic kicks in and it genuinely interested me to investigate further. My investigation found a number of results. To sum it all from my perspective, let's begin our discussion with WHY LOVE IS NECESSARY?
Scientists believe that brain processes underlying mother-child bonds were actually hijacked to create romantic love. Unlike other animals; such as birds, reptiles, amphibians, etc; humans have a longer childhood. The child is fully dependent on his mother for more than 2-3 years. And even after that, the child is under tremendous care and constant supervision. It feels as if nature is planning something special for us, the humans. That turns out to be for 'love'.
Talking about couples' romantic love, its origin trace back to "SEX"; one of the first things life on earth figured out to do. Love tends to grow out of desire, i.e. Sexual desire. You can't love someone you never desire.
Out of love, nature wants creatures that have brilliant adaptation and tough survivability. Additionally, for humans to survive, its important that the brain functions, performs, and operates at a peak state. For example, Cheetahs generation thrive, if the offsprings are agile and fast runners. Their essential adaptation is programmed towards fast running. On the other hand, humans, being a social creature, we want the offsprings to be mindful, creative, planner, and communicator. So love, in its origin, is just another mechanism making sure the survivability of generations smart at doing human kinds of stuff incredulously, i.e planning, socializing, and communicating.
"What evolution wants from falling in love is two individuals spending a lot of time together to get pregnancy. And with that bond, the coming generation can thrive fabulously."
Its also known that the bond of long term couples is similar to those between mother and child. I mean evolution is a game-changer. So, we answer a big WHY: Evolution is the reason for love. Got it. But how did it do it and what did it change fundamentally? Let's also sneak at it.
Being in love rewards the pleasure center of brain. Dopamine - the pleasure chemical - is released when someone feels being in love and it also triggers testosterone production, one of the major sex drive hormones for both men and women. Now, evolution thinks let's make love a bit complex and sticky adding yet another hormone Oxytocin for further manipulation. It is the same chemical that creates the blissful, oceanic feeling of peace for the mothers breastfeeding her child. How cool is Evolution? Picks up a few stuff here and there, mix and blend them together and TAADAA, there you go.
Oxytocin, a hormone of harmonization, is released during cuddling, dancing, and talking to someone we are attracted to. It fundamentally created bonding behavior in us. So when the person you admire, texts you back, the itchy feeling, the feeling as if you could conquer the whole world, the tinge of motivation, all thanks to Great "Oxytocin". Next time, don't thank god, thank oxytocin. All in all, Oxytocin is the man here. It flushes here and there in that tiny little compartment in the brain of yours, so you crave more love, more rewards, and a better chance for your offspring to survive.
So, wrapping it off, I conclude that evolution hijacks different neurological pathways for its sake, a kind of game we are programmed to play through chemicals that shape our emotional conditioning. It is hard to get out of it because it is in our roots and it's under play for millions of years. So, all in all, you are just another playboy or playgirl. (Just don't give that weird look, I am just explaining. You're the player after all !).
Since, its a game going on for quite a long time, and everyone seems to enjoy, you might also just play and go with the flow. At least now you can understand the game, and next time when you are feeling loved or heartbroken, just don't make it very personal. LOL !
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